Mr/ Mrs Right

Hello again,  I hope you all are enjoying these blogs? So todayd topic got me thinking,  growing up we are told the characteristics of a good partner.  The woman had to cook, clean,  make and train babies and a lot more. The man has to provide for his family and.....  Thats all i csn think of right now.  Anyway, where do all these come from?  I understand the bible says the man has to work hard before he eats: the bible also tells us about women who worked hard and were strong.

For me the solution to finding the right person is being the right person.  If we abide by the bible and live godly lives,  I think we are bound to end up with the right person.  Looking back to the bible,  people didn't force about these things.  They didn't worry about anything.  I think if we use all the technologies and changes in a positive way the world would be a better place eventually.

Little drops of water makes a mighty ocean. Please let us all try to be a drop of water. Adios my people and God bless.

Right Choice

Hello friends,  today we are going to talk about finding the right partner.  When we are ready to settle down,  do we look up to God or lean on our own understanding? According to the Bible in Genesis chapter 24 from verse13 downwards when Abraham wanted a wife for Isaac he sent his servant to go and get a wife and all he asked him to do was to ask God for a sign. The servant had faith in God. What kind of faith and trust do we have in God? Do we trust him to always do right by us or do we think that certain decisions are best made by ourselves?  I believe that since marriage was ordained by God it is only fair for him to be the person to go to for the right partner.

In the world today people struggle to find the right person full stop some people go through a lot of heartbreak and pain just found the right person.  In the olden days, this was not a problem and I think it should be better in this times because we have the Holy Spirit to guide us. The big question therefore is why do people still struggle to find the right person? why are we not trusting in God? when the Bible clearly tell us not to trust on our own understanding.

It may seem old fashioned but if it worked then, why not give it a try? it may work for you. God is near and waiting for us just to ask. why not trust in him today and ask him for the right partner flesh of your flesh bone of your bone and body for your ribs or ribs for your body he loves us and wants us to enjoy A Life full of joy,  peace and laughter.

Sex before Marriage

Hello readers,  the topic today has almost become as extinct as the dinosaur.  With all the other changes that we have come to accept,  we have just shoved it under the carpet.  More and more parents are failing to instil this quality in their children.  In the past when it was taught, it was mainly girls that were told "keep your virginity for the man you marry.  1st thessalonians 4:3 & Acts 15:20, tell us to abstain from fornication.

When people say nothing is new under the sun.  It is not applicable to Christians.  This is because once born again,  we are new in Christ.  Therefore we need to strive to be holy.  I use the word "strive"  because it is not an easy way.  Phillipians 4:13 tells us that we can do all things through Christ. 

Really apart from the biblical consequences,  lets be real here. If a lady said to a guy,  oh I am keeping myself for my wedding night.  That guy would make that wedding happen fast but where he gets it,  he would court the lady for years and sometimes end up not marrying her. There are also health implications and a lot more.  Not forgetting that there are guys out there who nay deceive ladies still under abstainance. 

The key is to always put God first in all you do.  A question that bothers me is why do we not tell our male children about this abstainance?  Are their bodies not also a temple of God?  If you think it is okay for a man to fornicate then whose daughters are they to defile?  Abstainance is applicable to both parties and should be encouraged because the devil is winning a lot of battles today.

As I always say you can only get it right with God and to end it I will recommend 1st Corinthians 6:13- end.  God bought your body with his sons blood. Please respect it.  Adios

Forgiveness

Forgiveness, let's start by ask why forgiveness is important in a marriage. The bible lays a few emphasis on forgiveness generally so I will take the common one from the Lord's Prayer that we recite daily. Matthew 6:12. We say this prayer everyday but most of us refuse to apply it. Who is it that is without sin? Mark 11:6 also tells us that if we do not forgive, our father also will not forgive. So whilst holding a grudge; you are withholding your blessings also. Howbeit this applies to life generally, it is important in a marriage because God already promised in Proverbs 18:22 that he that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from him. So where you should be reaping your blessings you start to set yourself back. Let us remember that Gen 2:24 already told us that once married two has become one. One in God and Christ . Would you hold a grudge against yourself?

Couples need to start understanding that once married you become one. You look out for each other, support each other, pray together and carry each other. Where Ephesians 5:22 tells women to submit to their husbands,verse 24 tells men to look after their wives and look after them without blemish or spot. I can only imagine what God would like marriage to look like. People make people make forgiveness look difficult however forgiveness gives you freedom and peace. When you forgive, God is happy with you and blesses you.

If you love someone, it should not be hard to let go. It goes beyond verbal confessions, it has to come from the heart. So even where the other party has not repented, it is for you to continue to forgive in obedience to God. Bearing in mind that forgiveness is about personal freedom; therefore sometimes you may have to leave that situation for your own peace.

In a nutshell, I believe if you love someone you would not do something that the other would not be able to forgive. Love your partner as you love yourself. Odejuma

For Better for Stay; For Worse for Go

In Africa nothing prepares us for marriage but that's not true. The vows we make on our wedding does. From when your partner is sick, to the unfortunate event of a life long illness or disease; you did say "in sickness and in health". Not to mention " for richer or poorer" and when things get financially tough we say" I wasn't cut out for this". Financial difficulties can either make a marriage or break it. Let's start with the positive side. A couple start from scratch together, support each other and watch each other grow. They learn to love one another unconditionally and value themselves. My marriage was one like this; my hubby supported me through college whilst having kids at the same time. At a point I was jealous he was spending more time with the kids. I valued this because I had been in past relationships that didn't allow me think of my future. That said

We move to the negative. Sometimes financial difficulties put pressure on couples and bring out the worst in them. Depending on what sides come out; they can either get through it or end it. In past blogs I have said cheating was the deal breaker for me. Wiser and more experience for me, now I will say cheating and any form of abuse is it for me. All forms of abuse are as bad and I tell you" God ordained marriage for good things. Genesis 2:24 tells it all. You cannot love someone and cause them pain. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, companionship and bond. The both of you against the world. Nothing or nobody should come between you.

Our second vow is "In sickness and in health" The reason I believe prayer is necessary before marriage is because the future is not known to us but God knows our tomorrow. You want to marry someone who will be there through thick and thin. No one prays for illnesses or accidents but they happen.when faced with these challenges, being with someone who loves you can make a big difference. No face value love but real Godly live. Someone who will carry your cross with you. If you don't love your partner truest you won't be able to stay with them in difficult times. Your only guarantee to a successful marriage is to walk with God because when our strength fails us, he will carry us.

Super Woman

When you hear the word Super Woman can you associate yourself to it? I'm sure the answer will likely be yes. Over the years the role of a woman has evolved so much and I'm sure most of us would associate the woman in the bible with the normal traditional woman. Today I want to tell you that the evolved woman is the same with the bible. The bible shows us Great women that were the back bones of their husbands, that held their homes together that fought on their own. So whether you are a mom, wife, or all of the above; when you think that your responsibilities are overwhelming you, Pray for the strength of the Super Women in the bible. Esther, Sarah, Elizabeth, Mary, Mary Magdalene and lot more because God designed you to be the shoulder of your home. A mother to your children by guiding them, supporting them, believing in them whilst you love them unconditionally at the same time doing these also for your husband standing only for what is true.

I spent some years driving my wagon of life with God as my spare wheels. It was a period of good memories because where people saw my situation as bad, the results of God were positive. My husband and I would sit and ask ourselves how things were working out and the only answer was God. It got to a point where my main prayer was "God if I don't know how you change things for me, no one will ever know (psalm 139). This worked until the devil started showing me things to make me think it was my doing. The Spirit of God kept warning me that I was talking too much and taking God's glory but I wouldn't listen.

Keep your marriage going

So in the space of two years I have had two children. At this point overwhelmed seems to be an understatement. Between being a mother, student wife (not in any particular order) trust me they are all as demanding. In all this I have struggled to maintain my role as a wife. I watch movies and you see single couples in hot sizzling relationships; two things come to my head at this point. 1. they are actors. 2. They haven't got children. If you have got kids and feel overwhelmed like me, and asking how do I balance this? I can't give you the absolute answer but what I do now is to make sure the kids are in bed by 8.30pm, I try to nap when you can during the day and do things on your own and with your partner. Hook up with friends (don't go wild) a drink, movies, swimming, exercise. Find a balance that suits you. It keeps your mind relaxed and less frustrated.

Plan yourself to achieve what you want. You can't do it all but one day at a time helps. If you are a Christian, don't wait for the opportunity to be alone and have an hour with God. If the opportunity presents itself then fine. If not anytime you are up, pray, when you are cleaning or cooking; praise God. You will find inner peace and God will see you through trials and temptations. Till we meet again. Ore kor.